I have never been more uncertain of myself
of that I am certain

what a powerful amplifier
this uncertainty

treading into dangerous and uncharted territory
senses heightened to an unnatural state
every stumble a fall,
every blemish a deformity,
every remark a damning condemnation

it is during these moments
that perseverance becomes most precarious

futility reigns supreme
in the face of such
oppression
and
suffocation

I can only watch, helpless
while it latches onto
everything

hold on for dear life
to foundations, wind and water
hold on for dear life
lest all that is
crumble away
remaining only in distant memory

Disappearing into the Wind, 2019
18′ x 24′
pastel and charcoal on drawing paper

State of Mind, 2019
16″ x 20″
Oil on Canvas